what they said/what I heard

what they said: My asthma

what I heard: miasma

turkeys, bunnies, deer & turkeys turkeys, turkeys

I now know more than I ever wanted to know about the mating habits of wild turkeys.

First of all, they are loud. & start very early in the morning. It's a lot like high school actually. The guys are so much like the jocks- all strutting, wearing their most status-y jackets, getting in each others faces,checking out the girls while ignoring them. It quickly becomes clear which is the Quarterback/prom king. He's the one who loudly spins around & shows his team colors. & I do mean loudly. Unfurling all those feathers makes a thrilling sound-a whoosh with an underlying drumming. Pretty impressive to the other team members who must be underclassmen. They just follow his example with lesser effect.

It also impresses the girls.

The cheerleader girls all giggle; advance; retreat; regroup. The loser girls react the same-although knowing they have no chance of being noticed.

This noisy nonsense goes on for days, accompanied with much eating of my forsythia bush (girls always like flowers), & pooping in the yard, driveway,sidewalks,decks & patios.

Then one day I looked out & the hens were being stood on.

Apparently this is turkey sex.

Big Chief Tom gets to stand on any girl he wants. Quietly.

All the wannabe guys just chatted & ate. All the hens continued to giggle in their cliques.

It must have worked. There are no more girl turkeys in my yard. Oh, they stop by to clean up under the bird feeder but the guys have left them alone for the most part. In fact today there are no more turkeys. At first I thought the turkey police must have done a drug sweep out there but it appears that now that the hens are knocked up the baby daddies have moved on to find new ladies.

Doesn't that sound like high school to you?

road thoughts

Driving back from New Orleans I watch the changing roadkill. As I came North it changes from turtles to armadillos to groundhogs to deer. Pretty awful but that's the price that is paid for road travel, I guess.

The road is the place I meditate. Staying in the Now is a given but, except for the immediate areas around major cities, the Now is pretty much the same - long stretches of monotony broken only by signs for food,gas&lodging; an occasional hawk spotting; a herd of deer contemplating suicide.

This is when I decide what everyone I know should do with his/her life. This is when I decide to sell the island house; move permanently to NOLA; leave NOLA & move to the island full time. This is when I start my on-going rant against the steamship AUTHORITY. I decide to move back to my hometown-until I remember it is full of Jesus Savers & Fashion is not an option. on&on&on.

I also notice this year- there are suddenly more red cars than usual. other colors,too. but definitely more red ones. I wonder, does this show an upswing in the economy? an optimism about the future? That would be nice. It could be that people are finally tired of beige & gray. I know I am.

Also I notice the changes in car decals. Not so many Babies on Board & Support our troops. But these little stick figures that show a little mom,dad, any #of kids (large&small), dogs, cats, other pets. I start a riff on what I might put on my rear window... old broad, 2 dogs,4cats, an assortment of glassware, chairs, boxes of books.

I start thinking that I could keep driving & go visit Tony in San Francisco, Jon McBride in L.A., could I possibly drive to Antarctica & see my darling KarenGrace? The possibilities are endless & skanky foul motels are available everywhere.

When did chain motels get so awful? They used to be where one was certain of cleanliness. The private ones( well, at least those without hourly rates) are clean & clever. I think about doing a road trip just to check out what hotels/motels are the most interesting.

I think about buying an RV & having no known address & wandering at will.

I think about what will happen if I run out of gas in Mississippi with Mass. plates.

I think about why I never stop at roadside attractions & am always in such a hurry to get wherever it is I'm going.

I think about driving all night.

I think about how my shoulder hurts from all this wind.

I think about how clever I am not to have gone off the road.