2011 bah humbug

This pretty much sums it up....on many levels

I know something positive happened during the year but, in retrospect,except for Brooke & Laura's wedding, I am hard pressed to find it.

I'll not dwell on the harsh memories. Really.

Suffice it to say 2011 sucked in so many ways that I am looking forward to 2012 in ways I never imagined.

Yes, I will be another year older but then so will everyone.

Morning with dogs in NOLA

I'm not really sure, but I THINK I saw this guy delivering a door to my neighbors this morning from the back of a government vehicle that looked suspiciously like a coroner's van.

New Orleans can be a little unsettling in the morning light.

he said -she said - I heard

he said: You are a northeastern liberal jihadist

I heard: You are a northeastern liberal Goddess.

I like mine better

he said -she said - I heard

What you said: My asthma is kicking in again.

What I heard: Miasma is kicking in.

whatever -both suck

NOLA dreaming

No one but No one welcomes a storm in the way New Orleans does. Oh, LordieLord let me live & die in a city with this much humor.

Aftermath

When this is the extent of the damage from a hurricane it is easy to forget how devastating water & wind can be.

Although the birds & bees have been dislocated around my environs, I cannot forget- we are more fortunate than VT & upstate NY where flash floods have taken homes & lives.

Although my clematis may never be the same, I will not forget the devastation of Katrina that brought America's most beautiful city to her knees 6 years ago.

Although my lawn & gardens are covered with leaves, twigs & acorns, I cannot forget those washed away in the low-country.

Although my road has become a crunchy rutted mess, I must not forget those whose lives were forever devastated by storms in Haiti.

I should not forget that it is the strength of people that will bring about recovery from adversity.

Always.

The work is there. We must do it.

Always.

astronomical!

Astronomical high tide - what a concept!

Astrological high tide - hmmmm

In case you were wondering

I am sitting here awaiting Hurricane Irene.

Dogs and cats at the ready.

Brought the grill in, I know not to use it.

Left the hottub outside. Wish i could bring it in.

The dryer is still broken. Last weeks guest laundry still in piles.

Hand washed some undies now drying in the kitchen. Classy.

Outdoor plants & chairs also in kitchen.

Batteries are in the flashlights.

Candles at hand.

Extra ice in coolers & freezer.

Phones & other electronics charging. Dog is helping. (see above)

Pile of books also in the kitchen.

TV scaring the shit outta me.

But I'm ready.

& right now I'm bored silly.

corndoggers++

AND not to be outdone...1 day late but right in there lickin'

corndoggers+

What in the world? Do all GOTP candidates have deep throats?

Add this to the Bachmann corndoggers for a complete set of GOTP hypocrites seeking office in our sad country. No wonder we are becoming a third world nation!

Just sayin'...

corndoggers

Need I say more??????

Full on August house guest hell. Well, not really Hell -just crowded, hot,noisy chaos. Every year I dread it. Every year I love it . Every year I swear not to do this again. Every year I do.

This is the price we pay for living in a paradise.

Sciatica -not for beginners

It's been a month. On a pain scale of 1-10 this surely rates a 10. Right up there with childbirth. The difference? With birthing pain one knows it will end & not return until one chooses it again. With sciatica one becomes wary of the ever present possibility that that leg will cramp up anytime & wham! There you are-on your back again.

Ice & tv. Ice & a book. Ice & phone. Ice & pity-party.

I remember my mom saying to just muddle through pain. It's not the end of the world & remember all those who are suffering more than you. Great. Now I can feel guilty about hurting.

Lying around being miserable leads to thoughts of mortality & intimations of aging. Not my plan for the Fourth.

Lying here does not allow me to dance away the ghosts & fears.

Lying here makes me face all the future I dread.

Lying here can cause panic & anxiety.

Lying here I make an endless list of resolutions for when I get up from

Lying here.

calm demeanor?

The calm demeanor that you see? It is only a facade.

The patience you feel? It's covering a fraud.

I am not heroic, stoic or odd -

Just bored.

House guests - we love 'em

house guests, not to be confused with family or extended family or over-extended family. House guests are those folks, invited or uninvited who take up residence for 3-4 days.

The good ones arrive with goodies from off-island;a clever skill like cooking; new makeup techniques or an independent attitude.always,always welcome.

The bad ones come empty handed; bring friends unannounced; need a safety pin, a tampon,a ride to the furthest end of this island. I don't have safety pins, tampons or an unlimited supply of gas .

The worst ones extend their stay by a week, puke in the bathroom or on the deck, whine about food allergies &/or leave the house a wreck.

People! I welcome you to my innermost but do not provide concierge service, maid service or chauffeur service. If you only want to visit with me in the summer & are not willing to come here in the dark winter months, I realize you are merely looking for a free place to stay in one of the world's best vacation destinations.

more words that make English hard

bear hear

beard heard

words I can't bear to hear

beyond the obvious racial/ethnic slurs there are phrases in common usage that sound beyond offensive to me:

meat suit

shut your pie hole

gonna rip you another/bigger/new asshole

douche

seems to me these all refer to human anatomy & the problem MIGHT be mine but - the harshness of these sounds together with the visual images they produce...ew

RAPTURE I

I am completely fascinated by the "Rapture". So many questions:

Can I have your car?

Where's the best place to watch?

Are there gonna be viewing stands?

Can you buy tickets?

What about pets?

If you're in a plane are you exempt?

What about if you're in the space station?

What do I wear?

Does this mean there are no longer private beaches?

Will Twitter & Facebook end, too?

Who of my friends will still be here?

Do I need to vacuum?

Is this hell on earth for the rest of us?

Should I chill the champagne?

Should I plan a viewing party?

Will this be covered by FOX or MSNBC?

Do I care?

dogs- did ya see this?

ff

what they said/what I heard II

what they said: meditation

what I heard: medication

accomplished

accomplished...best of show

does the photo show up?

accomplished

accomplished

what they said/what I heard

what they said: My asthma

what I heard: miasma

turkeys, bunnies, deer & turkeys turkeys, turkeys

I now know more than I ever wanted to know about the mating habits of wild turkeys.

First of all, they are loud. & start very early in the morning. It's a lot like high school actually. The guys are so much like the jocks- all strutting, wearing their most status-y jackets, getting in each others faces,checking out the girls while ignoring them. It quickly becomes clear which is the Quarterback/prom king. He's the one who loudly spins around & shows his team colors. & I do mean loudly. Unfurling all those feathers makes a thrilling sound-a whoosh with an underlying drumming. Pretty impressive to the other team members who must be underclassmen. They just follow his example with lesser effect.

It also impresses the girls.

The cheerleader girls all giggle; advance; retreat; regroup. The loser girls react the same-although knowing they have no chance of being noticed.

This noisy nonsense goes on for days, accompanied with much eating of my forsythia bush (girls always like flowers), & pooping in the yard, driveway,sidewalks,decks & patios.

Then one day I looked out & the hens were being stood on.

Apparently this is turkey sex.

Big Chief Tom gets to stand on any girl he wants. Quietly.

All the wannabe guys just chatted & ate. All the hens continued to giggle in their cliques.

It must have worked. There are no more girl turkeys in my yard. Oh, they stop by to clean up under the bird feeder but the guys have left them alone for the most part. In fact today there are no more turkeys. At first I thought the turkey police must have done a drug sweep out there but it appears that now that the hens are knocked up the baby daddies have moved on to find new ladies.

Doesn't that sound like high school to you?

road thoughts

Driving back from New Orleans I watch the changing roadkill. As I came North it changes from turtles to armadillos to groundhogs to deer. Pretty awful but that's the price that is paid for road travel, I guess.

The road is the place I meditate. Staying in the Now is a given but, except for the immediate areas around major cities, the Now is pretty much the same - long stretches of monotony broken only by signs for food,gas&lodging; an occasional hawk spotting; a herd of deer contemplating suicide.

This is when I decide what everyone I know should do with his/her life. This is when I decide to sell the island house; move permanently to NOLA; leave NOLA & move to the island full time. This is when I start my on-going rant against the steamship AUTHORITY. I decide to move back to my hometown-until I remember it is full of Jesus Savers & Fashion is not an option. on&on&on.

I also notice this year- there are suddenly more red cars than usual. other colors,too. but definitely more red ones. I wonder, does this show an upswing in the economy? an optimism about the future? That would be nice. It could be that people are finally tired of beige & gray. I know I am.

Also I notice the changes in car decals. Not so many Babies on Board & Support our troops. But these little stick figures that show a little mom,dad, any #of kids (large&small), dogs, cats, other pets. I start a riff on what I might put on my rear window... old broad, 2 dogs,4cats, an assortment of glassware, chairs, boxes of books.

I start thinking that I could keep driving & go visit Tony in San Francisco, Jon McBride in L.A., could I possibly drive to Antarctica & see my darling KarenGrace? The possibilities are endless & skanky foul motels are available everywhere.

When did chain motels get so awful? They used to be where one was certain of cleanliness. The private ones( well, at least those without hourly rates) are clean & clever. I think about doing a road trip just to check out what hotels/motels are the most interesting.

I think about buying an RV & having no known address & wandering at will.

I think about what will happen if I run out of gas in Mississippi with Mass. plates.

I think about why I never stop at roadside attractions & am always in such a hurry to get wherever it is I'm going.

I think about driving all night.

I think about how my shoulder hurts from all this wind.

I think about how clever I am not to have gone off the road.

streaming news

you know you're watching too much news when you read warplane as warp lane & you start a mental riff on where Glenn Beck & his hooligans fit on the warped lane of history.

why English is hard to learn -continued

anger

danger

still 67

woke up this morning & nothing has changed.

I am still 67.

It snowed again last night.

My body still hurts from moving furniture.

The cat's still grumpy.

My computer still hates me.

The dogs are still asleep.

The world is still in turmoil.

I'm still alive.

Looks like another gorgeous day & yes, we will survive...

Turn up the music

And dance.

birthday # 67

Birthdays only make you chronologically older. They don't change your attitude. Just your numbers on the national insurance pages. & your joints. & your eyesight. & your memory. &...

dead of winter

isolation is not solitude.

NOLA dreaming

Even though I know it is 40F & dreadful in NOLA - it's better than sitting here in the frozen tundra of the north atlantic searching for signs of life.

Cold in NOLA is damp & cuts straight to the bone but my neighbors fights there are more interesting than the silence of this closed-in house.

besides, something -some flower, weed, tree will be very very very close to blossom.

The only thing growing here is ennui.